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Since they were scattered across the four corners of the World of Twelve following Ogrest's Chaos, the Ouginaks have been trying to somehow come together again. Their meeting point: Ohwymi. Their aim: teach the monster who separated them a lesson. But for the time being, a division of tasks and roles is a must…

A queue as long as the god Ouginak's tail stretched around both sides of the camp. Surrounded by ten or so makeshift huts, the big top of a more imposing cabin towered in the air. Kalidar, his hair gray and thinning, but his eyes still as keen as ever, was in the center, sitting at a table made of bone, with a Moowolf hide laid out as a tablecloth. To his left and right were two Bermans armed with spears, staring sternly at the horizon. All around, Ouginak soldiers wearing brand new armor were busy preparing for the "great departure" – a long and perilous adventure that would lead lead them straight to Ogrest's lair.

That old hound Kalidar held several documents in his paws. He studied them, examined them in detail, and went back to them again and again, going frantically from one to the next, looking very focused. Or upset? It's hard to say. He scratched his nose with his great, scar-covered paws. Opposite him was a puny Macian with his shoulders arched and snout lowered, lacking assertiveness.


In around ten minutes, which had seemed like an eternity to the young candidate, this was the only sound that had left the watchdog's mouth. The atmosphere was heavy.


As the Macian's snout started to droop as he dozed off, a grunt from Kalidar woke him with a start.

"To the kitchen! That's the best I can offer you, pal. Try to do your best; our soldiers are gonna need strength!"

Both disappointed with the verdict and relieved that the ordeal was over, the young Ouginak grabbed his gear and left without further ado.  

"Pffft, warriors… I need REAL WARRIORS, not bakers!" the Ouginak growled, banging his fist on the table.

"Next!" he then shouted, picking his teeth with a small Bow Meow bone.

Two Ouginaks – a man and a woman, dressed as if they were going to the Clockwork Ball – came forward with a rolling gait and almost seductive, mischievous smiles on their lips. Kalidar looked hard at them with eyes as round as biscuits, then began to laugh with his mouth wide open, making his cabin's canvas vibrate. 

"Ahahaha! Did you think you were at a Bard Academy awards ceremony or something?! I must be dreaming! Ahaha!"

Noobie and Klyde didn't seem to be bothered by the watchdog's remarks. Unshaken, they continued to smirk. Both Bermans on duty – who until then hadn't moved a muscle – struggled to hold back their laughter, shown by a slight twitching of their shoulders.

"But seriously, guys", Kalidar continued, rather disillusioned this time, "You've got the wrong place; there's no garden party going on here. Go on, skedaddle: We don't have time to waste. NEXT!"

The two companions came forward a bit more. The man sat in the chair facing Kalidar and sank comfortably into it, staring the Ouginak straight in the eye. The woman sat on the corner of the table and crossed her legs, with the slit in her long dress revealing her charming assets…

Kalidar lost patience. His lips curled back, revealing a fine row of bright, sharp canines. A slight groan escaped from his mouth. The Bermans weren't laughing any more, either. One of them walked toward the two troublemakers, pointing his spear threateningly.

"Hey you jokers, didn't you hear the boss?  We don't have time to waste with numskulls like you. This is where we hire people to go and give Ogrest something to cry about; we're not here to eat scones or chat around a cup of Mush Mush juice! Is that clear?"

"That's nice…"  Noobie said, leaning toward Kalidar and looking as though he wanted to grab the bone collar around the watchdog's neck.

Like a good bodyguard, the Berman jumped right on him. Not fast enough: Noobie tore off her dress in a single motion, revealing a warrior's outfit. She pulled out a grapple carved from a huge bone from behind her back, threw it toward the tent frame, then leaned on the table to perform a pirouette, after which she gave the guard a good kick in the jaw. 

The second Berman tried to grab her in turn, but was stopped by Klyde, who immobilized him with a skillful armlock, before giving him a furious kick in the back. The Berman was thrown forward and ended up in a cabinet full of all kinds of tools and war weapons, taking a few other soldiers with him in a deafening commotion.

The shots were coming from all sides, but Noobie and Klyde avoided them with amazing class. They sent their opponents waltzing frantically, in a skillfully mastered choreography. Anyone would have thought they were two professional dancers, both elegant and formidable!

After a good half hour of fighting, the echo of the blows, clashing of weapons, and cries faded, giving way to the laments of the soldiers lying on the ground. As for Noobie and Klyde, they stood tall. The woman was resting her foot on the back of a clearly beaten Ouginak, with one eye swollen like a Strich egg and his tongue hanging out. The man was holding a soldier firmly by the throat with the crook of his elbow, and Kalidar's collar in his other hand.

"Here, honey" he said to Noobie, handing her the jewel.

"You're an angel, dearest…" the young woman simpered, before blowing him a kiss with her hand.

The camp looked like a real battlefield. On their own, Noobie and Klyde had managed to take down most of Kalidar's men. The others simply don't dare move so much as a tail, petrified by what they had just witnessed.

Flabbergasted, Kalidar didn't move either, frozen like a statue throughout the "spectacle". The two warriors went up to him very slowly, while he sank deeper and deeper into his seat, as if he wanted to get beyond reach.

"So? Hired?" Noobie asked, while Klyde handed Kalidar's collar back to him.


Do you want to find out more about the Ouginaks?  See you in the next issue of Gamakna!