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Want to learn all you can about the World of Twelve, but can't find the time in your jam-packed schedule? (More like you're too busy playing video games to open an encyclopedia. It's cool, we get it…) For the first public demonstration of his mikrosmowave oven, Meylon Moosk has decided to address the infamously hot topic of the Shushus. DING! Ah! Sounds like it's ready.

Peace and happiness be with you, young adventurer… or not-so-young, what do I know?

I am Meylon Moosk, a perfectly average Huppermage druid.

Believe me, I was THIS close to being super-intelligent.

But my mentors didn't see fit to guide me on that path. So now, I focus on my own personal inventions with little or no practical application, and stay out of everyone else's way!

My latest creation: the mikrosmowave oven!

It's an oven that you put things into, and then when you turn it on… (mysterious whisper) you can see your own death! (silence)

Nah, just messin' with you.

This device analyzes the systemic structure of the target object to transcribe its origin and composition, extracting and presenting its fundamental essence in an ostensibly sophisticated nomenclature.

Pass me that, would you? (opens the door of the mikrosmowave oven)

Looks like an ordinary ring, right? (sets it inside the oven)

But in point of fact, my friend, this is a Shushu! (closes the door)

… Oh, you already knew that?! …

Well, no matter, I'll explain what a Shushu is anyway, for the folks at the back!

(pokes buttons on mikrosmowave)

A quick 30 seconds in the mikrosmowave, and I'll interpret the data for you on the spot!

(sing-song voice) *It's gettin' hot in here…*

(Beep! Then the sound of the oven running.)

Shushus are demons who come from the Shustuft Crust.

No, not that nasty new dish from when the shoe store merged with the pizza place... It's a whole dimension that somehow stinks even worse than that.

Murder, torture, macrame workshops… no crime is too vile for these monsters!

The boss, the godfather, the Don Vitto de la Caliente of this place… is Rushu.

He's got horns, cloven hooves, the works. Safe to say he's not here to cuddle up on the couch with a glass of wine and a little Feline Vion on the stereo.

He's more the type to launch a covert invasion of the World of Twelve the first chance he gets.

So he goes to the scummiest of his scummy demons and tells 'em, "All right, let's move it, losers! Shoo! Shoo!"

(cheerfully) Get it? 'Cause they're Shushus! …Anyway!

And then, in the year 24… SHA-BLAM!

Yes, you heard me: "sha-blam."

There's these two kids, Karibd and Silar, who are all kinds of worked up after their parents died, like at the start of one of those Will Dasney stories.

You know… Will Dasney! The old beggar on Bonta Square? Wears a headband with those big moumouse ears?

Anyway, Karibd and Silar find this sketchy old book written in some weird language.

They must've read aloud from it in some cabin way out in the woods, 'cause next thing you know, they open a teleportation portal to the Shustuft Crust, right into Rushu's bathroom!

So Rushu, he gets out of his tub and he's all:

(guttural roar) "WHAT IN THE ACTUAL LIVING F…??!"

But then he suddenly calms right down, 'cause he realizes he can finally achieve his lifelong dream: leading a revolution!

So he puts on a bathrobe and sends 1000 Shushus to Earth… uh… wait, what am I saying? To the World of Twelve, I mean!

And for these guys, it's like Spring Brak! Demons gone wild, dancing in bikinis "a la playa" in Brakmar! Olé!

But then this Iop shows up with a huge sword. That's Goultard. And he's all:

(guttural roar) "WHAT IN THE ACTUAL LIVING F…??!"

But then he suddenly calms right down when he sees all those demons in bikinis. (crow caws in the distance)

He's got no other choice, right? And so… POW! BANG! BOOM!

He tears 'em to pieces!

No one really knows what happened to those two messed-up orphans from before, but the portal closed up and left a whole bunch of Shushus in the World of Twelve, sealed away inside physical objects to calm 'em down a bit.

The most powerful ones have the ability to corrupt Twelvians, a bit like the national political party in Brakmar.

So they put them under the careful guard of… well, guardians.

But even though they're supposed to be super-tough, those guardians sometimes get corrupted by their Shushus too, and the demon takes possession of the poor guy or gal's body and mind.

And when that happens, let me tell you… it's not pretty.

Lots of drooling, groaning, and sweating…

It's a bit like watching a performance by Hambrew "Nice" Day, the ex-innkeeper who left his lousy pig lair to make a career out of telling dirty jokes.

Fortunately, a few hardy adventurers always show up before long to set things straight…

(Ding!)

So? My mikrosmowave works pretty well, huh?

Wh-What are you doing...?

Ugh, don't put your dirty mitts all over it! You'll mess it all up!

All right, get out of here! You'll be back when you've got more questions…

Whaddya mean, you never asked me in the first place?

 

Listen to the audio version of this story (in French) here: